You Belong with Me
by Disease called Love
Summary: Oh, great. Jellal's out of prison. And, Erza, here, is going to pay him a visit.. Except for that Jellal already turned the tables. With a dash of unconscious Natsu and knocked out Gray ..Also a dumbfounded Lucy.
1. Somebody to Love

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail blahblahblah (insert other Japanese stuffs)**

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><p>"What did you say?"<p>

Lucy gulped. She was only talking casually to Natsu Dragneel, and apparently, Erza_— casually _interrupted. And when she interrupts you, you know it never means good business.

"Eh? I was…" Before she could finish her sentence, Natsu covered her mouth. She said something like; '_WHAT ARE YOU DOING, NATSU? LET GO! LET GO— AIFHSKHAKH… MMFFFF!'_

…Something like that.

"It's nothing, Erza! She was just talking about… expensive princess stuffs!"

And all he could see after that was a piercing glare from Erza.

"You think I'm buying that, Natsu? There's no way you would listen her talking about 'expensive princess-y stuffs'. Spit. It. Out!"

"A-ay-ayyeeee… Cap'n Erza…"

And, K.O he goes…

She sighed, carrying Natsu to her lap. "I shouldn't have knocked him out. It's my entire fault, Natsu."

"…Don't you think it's a bit too late to say that, Erza?" Lucy murmured. Once Erza caught her within eyesight, she smiled (innocently). "Oh, Lucy, I really thought you were talking about… about Jellal."

"Well, I kind of… was."

Eyes widen.

Gulp.

Glare.

Sweat drop.

Glare (again).

Blurt.

"I overheard him getting released from prison."

A sincere smile found its way towards Erza's lips; she could finally see Jellal again—

And she would probably kill him once she does. Who wouldn't? He fucking left her alone.

"That's great, Lucy." Erza said, standing up, obviously off to Jellal's place (does she even knows?)

"And, I heard he's staying at Fairy Tail!"

She turned back. Um, what? You're kidding me?

"Say what?"

"…T-temporarily?"

Gulp.

Sweat drop.

Sweat drop.

Gulp.

"Well… there goes my dreamland."

Natsu twitched a bit, my God, finally he's conscious. Phew. That's relieving—

"ASFJLAKF… L-Lucy, I-I… feel like dying—" no more words came out of his mouth when Erza 'accidentally' stepped on him—_ on the face._

…K.O, again

"You're so hopeless, Natsu! Ahahahaha… haha… ha— …ha."

Glare from Erza.

Sweat drop from Gray.

Glare from Erza, again.

Sweat drop from Gray, again.

…

…

Gray = K.O.

"Oh no, what have I done? I'm responsible for all this, Lucy. Don't stop me; I'm going to take them to my room."

"…Who was stopping her in the first place again?"

Exactly 4 minutes, 37 seconds, 21 milliseconds later, Erza was facing her house— Rather, _Lucy's_ house.

A dramatic sigh escaped her lips, as she looked up. Two males were groaning when they felt like their insides were fucking stirring around. "Nu… Erz… argh… H- appy… Lucy… Li-Lisann— blurghhh—"

Natsu = K.O third time.

Erza sighed, "You are so useless, Gray, Natsu…" (Um, who was it that K.O'ed them in the first place? *Lucy points at Erza*) Call it coincidence, but she could've sworn she saw Jellal inside that room.

"What. The. Fuck?"

"Uerghhhhaarghhh… Erzahhhrggg—"

Gray = K.O… Oh fuck, back to counting again…

The red head dropped them (*cough*directly outside the apartment *cough*) and went straight to her— I mean; _Lucy's _room. No way. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"…Jellal!"

Eyes widen.

Sweat drop.

Jellal drops the— is that a woman's magazine? Oh, Jellal, you dirty little bishie…

Gulp.

Think about what to say.

Gulp again.

Major brainstorm…

Silence…

"Erza… um, yo…?"

"…Don't 'yo' me, Jellal. What are you doing here?"

"Old geezers told me to come here."

"I take my question back. Why are naked?"

"It's hot. There's no air conditioner." He casually (I'm using that a lot, huh…) said, fanning his naked chest. At least he's wearing pants, Erza.

Silence

…

…

Erza pointed at an object hanging on the wall. What could it be, I wonder?

…

…

Oh, it's an air conditioner!

…

How dramatic.

"That's… my fault. I think." Jellal smiled nervously, putting his shirt back on. "Ahem, so you've heard about me and Fairy Tail?"

"I did."

"…I don't have a house."

"Rent one, then."

"I don't have any jewels."

"Go find a job, then."

"I need permission from Master."

"Go on, then."

"I have no courage to."

"Grow some balls, then."

Jellal smirked. "Can I see you naked?"

"Go ahea—"

…

…

Jellal = K.O

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><p><strong>I'm beginning to pity Jellal a bit.. R&amp;R anyone? I'm out here still fangirling about Chapter 264. Yeah, Jellal. Yeeeaaaahhh.<strong>


	2. What can I do?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail. If I did, I'd kill Mashima for making Jellal lie in Chapter 264.**

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><p>Erza woke up from her bed. And no, it's not Lucy's bed— even if it's possible. It was definitely hers, armors were everywhere! She sighed, sitting up properly and ruffling her hair.<p>

She gulped as flashbacks of yesterday popped in her head.

Jellal + Hot pants + Trolling + Idiotic face = Erza in a nightmare.

"Why didn't he pick black?" she muttered, re-equipping into her normal daily-life armor.

"He… he could've chosen black! WHY MUST IT BE PINK!" she literally shouted, heading out to her guild.

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><p><em>Flashback,<em>

"Welcome back home, Erza." Jellal greeted non-too-friendly, not even looking at the said girl. Apparently, he was too focused on the girl's magazine in his hands.

"…Jellal. Get out of my bed. Hell, get out of my house! Why are you in that pose? You look gay! And you're reading a girls' magazine! Where did you get that? Get out, Jellal Fernandes!"

Jellal stared at her for 2 milliseconds before turning his back towards Erza. "Go away. I'm busy." He said, resuming his reading.

"Go away…? GO AWAY? This is my house, Jellal Fernandes! And that's Lucy's magazine, right? You actually stole it fro—" she stopped when he saw what Jellal was wearing.

"Why are you wearing pink bloomers…? Give me that magazine back! That's inappropriate! You look too gay for my eyes, Jellal!" she shouted, smacking Jellal in the ass.

"Ouch! Since when did you become so hotheaded?" Jellal complained, looking at the redhead while rubbing his sore buttock.

"Since when did you become so gay…?"

"Anyway, these are hot pants, not bloomers. Apparently, Gray Fullbuster suggested me to wear them since I was sweating all the time. And they're surprisingly comfy. I should really hang out with him sometimes." Jellal explained, rolling back on Erza's bed oh-so-sexily.

"Say what now?"

"Erza, can you leave me alone now? I'm in the 'what-type-of-men-girls-like-to-date' section."

…

…

Jellal = K.O

_End of flashback,_

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><p>"Agh… pink… bloomers…"<p>

Natsu stared at her, poking her head. "What's up with Erza today? She looks so… so scarred for life."

It took him a second before he gasped. "IS 2012 ALREADY HERE? THE WORLD'S ENDING ALREADY?"

"Flamebrain, it's already 2012, what kind of moron are you?"

"You picking a fight with me? HUHHH?"

Oh the randomness. Jellal suddenly came out of nowhere, not bothering to stop Natsu and Gray. The only thing he said was. "Hot pants, awesome," and a wink + thumbs up to Gray.

"Yo, Erza~ how have you been?" a friendly, warm greeting called out. Erza turned around, anticipating a dressed-in-some-kind-of-weird-bloomers-or-wait-was-it-hot-pants Jellal. But instead, she had eyes on a fully appropriate dressed man, waving.

"Jellal."

"How have you been?" he asked.

"Fine, I guess." What she _wanted_ to say was, 'What do you think? I was mentally tortured yesterday by a dude wearing hot pants!' but she didn't want her friend to troll her.

"Let's catch up for old times' sake, Erza. How about a mission, eh? Just you and me alone."

"…Was wearing bloomers yesterday for 'old times' sake'?"

"For the last time, Erza, those are not bloomers, they're hot pants. Quote from Gray Fullbuster; they're _way_ more comfortable than old fashioned ugly bloomers— oh, I should really hang out with him sometimes."

Erza mentally cursed herself. Fuck life.

"I'll pass on the mission thing."

"You really have changed. We should catch up." He repeated, lightly scratching his head.

"I guess we should. I didn't know you were this much of a troll, Jellal Fernandes."

"I'm actually surprised you know what 'troll' means. Anyway, I'm going to have to stay at your place tonight."

Erza stood up suddenly. Whaaaaaaaat? Did she hear that right?

"Pardon me?"

"I got kicked out, probably because the owner was so jealous of my bishie face. I know I'm hot. All bishies are hot. And I'm a bishie. So I'm hot."

"Uh, since when did this turn into a bishie conversation?" (Erza just realized that Jellal is really random. um lolwhut.)

"So, what's your answer? I'll keep you entertained. And no, not in _that_ way. I'd be too disgusted. Bishies are always single. And I'm a bishie. Meaning, I should always be single." He explained, his right index finger pointing at his left ring finger. Had he listened to Beyonce's 'All the single ladies' too much?

"You talk too much. Shut up for a second!"

"As you wish, my princess— I mean, Erza."

Erza took a deep breath. _Calm down, Erza! Calm down! Think about what'll happen… do some calculations… calculations, Erza, calculations!_

Results:

Erza + Jellal + pissed off Erza + bloomer (*cough* hot pants *cough) wearing Jellal + sword holding Erza + trolling Jellal + Jellal's magazine = randomness awkwardness fuck no weirdness awkwardness **DOOMSDAY.**

"I'm doomed." She muttered.

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><p><strong>No shit, you're doomed, Erza. R&amp;R anyone? I'm too lazy for school tomorrow. Fuck school. Fuck life. I want to live in a world like Fairy Tail. 8| And I want to bang Jellal.<strong>


	3. Don't love Her

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail blahblahblah (insert Japanese stuffs here) :L**

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><p>"Nooo. Noooo. Oh my Jesus fuck nooooo…"<p>

Is what the redhead muttered 24/7 when she was in the guild. "Erza, are you okay?" came a worried voice from a blonde.

"Lucy… help me… I think I'm going to die from Jellal's mental torture soon."

"Eh?"

"He's sleeping at my place tonight."

"Whaaaaaaaaaat? But he moved in right next to my room two days ago!"

"Are you sure?"

"…Oh. He got kicked out. And he was demanding something like…"

"Like what?"

_Lucy's flashback,_

"Hn, are you jealous of me, old geezer? I have too much of a bishie face? You picking a fight? I'm obviously way hotter than you, and eveeeeeeeryone knows. That's right. Everyone! Every. Single. One. Especially one with the name of Erza Scarlet!"

"Leave."

"…What did I do?"

_End of flashback,_

"…It's weird how he said 'What did I do' so innocently."

"That's Jellal for you. What's up with him, I don't know."

"I guess so… last night he went to my room to borrow my robe."

"Are you serious?"

"No I'm not. He borrowed my _pink_ robe."

Erza banged her head on the table.

"…You should check your magazines. I bet some of them are missing."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Oh, I gotta go. Sorry Lucy! I've got no spare time."

"…What?"

The redhead walked out of her beloved guild, thinking about the calculations again.

Results:

Jellal + Erza + Jellal's hot pants + Erza's robe + Jellal(Lucy)'s magazine + Erza's sexy legs + Jellal's sexy chest…

She wasn't wrong.

**DOOMSDAY.**

"Erza? Why are you sweatdropping?"

Said girl turned around to see… well… to see Jellal in some kind of bunny outfit.

Jellal smirked, somehow reading her mind. "Let me guess, you're thinking of me in some really tight sexy outfit?"

…

_Damn him._

"Either way, I don't plan on letting you in."

Jellal just stared at her in awe, and she had to admit that Jellal looked cute when his eyes widened like that.

And she took that back when Jellal suddenly burst out in laughter,

"What kind of nonsense are you saying? I could always break into your house, Erza Scarlet!"

"And how would that be?"

He looked dumbfounded. "Magic, duh."

"…You have a point."

"So, I'll be at your house soon."

"Wait, Jellal!"

"I won't be wearing hot pants. On second thought, they kinda looked girly. Way too girly…"

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><p><em>Jellal's flashback,<em>

He posed himself in front of the mirror, and raised an eyebrow in a way he thought was seductive.

"Erza's right. I look completely gay. And I even stole that Lucy Heart-something's robe."

But then he took off his clothes, only leaving his black (thank God it's not pink…) boxers, and started posing again.

"Hey, sexy~" he whistled at his mirror image.

He froze before muttering. "What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Me?"

_End of flashback,_

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><p>"First off, that was completely random and awkward. Second of all, I can't believe you actually wear black boxers."<p>

"I know, right? I myself was shocked."

"…Fine."

**OH YEAH TIMESKIP!**

It was fucking 6 in the evening, and Jellal dropped by. Complete terrifying, especially when he has that creepy grin on his face.

"Stop trying to act cute."

"Oh no, Erza, I don't try to act cute, I _am_ cute." He explained, puffing his right cheek and his right index finger poking his cheek.

"…Come in, idiot."

"Oh, was that a compliment? Why thank you, Erza."

"Come in… before I slice you up."

Jellal flinched. What happened to his sweet, cute Erza from before? "I'll be enjoying our night together."

"Damn right you will. There would be some rules to follow."

"Whaaaaat? What rules? I can't hear you… ah, this bed is comfy~"

"Rule number 1, definitely no hot pants."

"I told you I'm not going to wear them again. I still can't believe myself for choosing pink… why did I choose pink?"

"Shut up, I'm in the midst of explaining. Second rule, no magazines!"

"…I don't know if I'm quite able to follow that rule." He winced.

"Third, no peeking."

"No peeking? Peek what? Your body? Ohohoho, Erza Scarlet, you're dirtier than I thought."

"Rule number four, absolutely NO gay conversations."

"…What."

"What what?"

Jellal sighed, pulling the door and revealing some girl magazines which toppled on the floor, hot pants— black hot pants, actually… and some kind of… what was that thing?

"What's that?"

"I wrote my 'gay conversation' to troll you. It took me a whole night." Jellal scoffed.

"Oh fuck I'm doomed."

And thus, tomorrow was what Erza predicted; **DOOMSDAY.**

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><p><strong>Is it just me, guys.. or are all JellalxErza fanfics all angst-y? o.O Like, 99.9999% are angst genre-d and the others are humor. 8| Damn life.. but I guess that kinda suits Jerza, huh.. : Well, sorry if this chapter wasn't so cracktastic. I have a whole load shit homework today. Fucccccckkk life. Fuck everything. Go Jerza.**

**..R&R anyone?**


	4. Better than Revenge

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or Katekyo Hitman Reborn! If I did, I'd make a crossover. Fkyeahzz, bishies all over. 8|**

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><p>Jellal ruffled his hair and yawned. Wow, he had lots of fun trolling Erza Scarlet yesterday. He yawned again, mumbling something like; "ohfucknoineedtoeatrightnao."<p>

His eyes widened as he saw a pair of legs next to him. He could've sworn he almost drooled at the sight and decided to follow it—

…Erza?

Fuck no he's doomed. They're both doomed.

"Yyyyoooouuuuuu… whhhaattt diddd yyyyyooouuu doooo, Errrzagghhhh…?"

Erza woke up. Shall we nominate her for 'great timer' awards?

"Jellal…? What are you doing in my bed?"

"That's my line, Erza Scarlet. Oh- OHMIGOSH, did you steal my virginity last night?"

"…Yay for awkwardness?"

"Seriously, I think someone molested me last night."

"That was probably me. Now, if you'd excuse me, can you please let me sleep? Go to the bathroom first."

"Uh, Erza, you _do_ realize that I'm currently naked, right?"

…

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><p><strong>AN: UH, GUYS, I JUST FOUND A JELLAL TUMBLR AND AM NOW AN OFFICIAL JELLAL FAN. SORRY HIBARI&MUKURO. 8| Y U SO HOT JELLAL? LOLSORRY. BACKTOTHESTORY.**

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><p>…<p>

She froze. She got up. She cursed. She blushed. She showed her middle finger. She got ropes out to kill herself. She stopped. She cursed again. She ASFAKJGOAUS-ed.

"Not that I can help it anyways. I always sleep naked. It's more comfortable that way. Anyways, I'm gonna go to the bathroom first."

"You ALDFKHLFHALKSFHSLHALFJS WHY YOU LITTLE- AOFJSKLAHGLAHFKSL…!"

Jellal grinned. Daily morning troll; _check_.

30 minutes later, Erza wasn't surprised at all when Jellal came out with her robe, which was pink in color.

And she wasn't surprised how the robe actually suits him.

"Ohoho, Erza, you've got one hell of a bathroom in there. But I think I broke the sink."

"Stay out of my robe."

"It's comfortable."

"Get out of my room."

"Technically it's my room, too."

"Go make breakfast."

"Let's make it together."

"Go to hell."

"Already did."

"Do something else."

"I'm talking. And I'm standing. I'm wearing a robe. Isn't that 'something else'?"

"Stop trolling."

"I lose."

Erza sighed. _What an idiot_. She quickly went inside, somehow relieved that nothing was wrong with her sink, and cleaned herself.

15 minutes later, (Jellal bathed longer than her. The awkwardness…) she stormed out of her beloved bathroom and began searching through her rack.

Let's see, what should she wear today?

Hot pants, hot pants, hot pants, tight top, hot pants, hot pants, hot pants, jacket, skirt, hot pants

What.

The.

Fuck.

"Jellal…!" she muttered.

Meanwhile, Jellal shuddered a bit. "Fuck, Erza's scary. I should prepare breakfast to calm her down."

Before he even turned the stove on, Erza stomped inside the kitchen. "Jellal Fernandes! What did you do to my underclothes?"

"What, can't you tell? Obviously I hid them."

"Bastard…"

"Or maybe you could just wear your armor without wearing any clothes inside."

"Die…! DIE! DIEDIEDIEDIE!"

"Kufufu~ oh fuck I'm becoming like Mukuro from Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Blame Lucy's magazines."

"Since when did this become a crossover?"

"SHUT UP! I'M FRYING! Wait, how do I turn this thing on? Ah- OHMIGOD IT BURNED ME! AH!"

"_You_ shut up! Where's my clothes, JELLALLLLLLL?"

"I DON'T KNOW, ERZA! STOP BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHING, DAMN IT!"

That morning actually turned into a fight between them. Jellal burnt the eggs, Erza wore Jellal's clothes and they both didn't talk throughout breakfast.

…Now _that's_ what I'd call awkward.

"Uh, Erza…? Are you still mad?"

"Shut up."

Wince.

Glare.

Wince.

Sigh.

"Fine. I'll forgive you just this once. Now, get out of my sight before I peel your face off your skull."

Jellal gulped. He knew she meant that as a joke, but it sounded so fucking real.

"Bishies can't have their faces 'ripped off their skulls'." He muttered like a little puppy, loud enough for Erza to hear.

Erza sighed and leaned forward, smiling. "Don't feel too bad, Jellal."

"But…!"

"It's alright."

"I trolled you—"

"It was fun rather than annoying."

"But still—"

"Shush."

Jellal sighed, rolling his eyes. "Okay. I get the clue. Just kiss me already."

…

_Slap!_

Erza stomped out of her house, leaving Jellal unconscious on the floor. _What an idiot. Stupid fool! Diediedie!_

5 minutes later, Jellal woke up and rubbed his sore cheek. She was one hell of a slapper. Although it seemed like another day of endless troll, he smiled. "Looks like I made up with her. That's a relief."

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><p><strong>Mkay, so I thought all the chapters before was all about Jellal trolling and not about romance at all. So I made a bit of a hint. R&amp;R anyone? 8D and yay for KHR! I thought Jellal looked completely natural while chuckling 'kufufu'. LOLWEIRDNESS.<strong>

**Yeah, this wasn't so cracktastic. sorrehhh DDD:**

**oandbtw, that middle thing is so damn random, ryte? TROLOLOLOL.**


	5. When you're Gone

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail. Oh, and by the way, from this point on it'll mostly be romance and not fully humor.**

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><p>"<em>Jellal…"<em>

"_And so, Erza, that was painful as heck. You never know how the hell it hurts. It hurts, it seriously does. You really are an exact clone of Ultear. You both are really cruel, yet very beautiful and—"_

_Slap!_

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><p>"…So, what did I do?"<p>

Lucy twitched. "Are you an idiot? You're a fool! An idiotic fool! What kind of jerk would say that?"

"…Okay, seriously, I get the lesson here; girls are complicated as_ fuck_. Now that I've known that I went to the right person— and that is you, Lucy Heart-something, could you give me some advice? I really don't want Erza to…"

He stopped.

"To…?"

"T-to… to… well… to get— mad a-at me…" He stuttered, blushing furiously while twiddling his fingers like a little girl. The blonde blinked and chuckled. "You're really not that bad as the rumors say. You're quite the sweet guy."

That was when Jellal (lol. I typed in Mukuro accidentally) went back to his old self. "I'm sorry, Lucy Heart-something. I'm not really single. Well actually, bishies shouldn't be single. And I'm a bishie. And-"

"Oh, Natsu, Gray, you're already here? That's good then! Let's go~ Sorry Jellal. Looks like there's a mission waiting for us~ try to make up with Erza meanwhile!"

"What? What missio—"

"SHUT UP!"

"…The randomness?" Jellal blinked oh-so-cutely. Then he thought about what he did wrong. What did he…? Uh, he mentioned about how Erza was so similar to Ultear, about how she was beautiful just like her. About how she was strong just like her; about how he said that—

…

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

"OH FUCK! This really _is_ my fault. Fuckfuckfuck. I need to apologize to Erza. Like, right now."

He stomped out of the guild, not caring to pay. He decided some flirting with Mirajane would do. "Kufufu, after all, I'm a bishie, right?" he said

…

Too. Much. Katekyo. Hitman. Reborn.

"Anyways, Erza, I'm coming for you~"

Meanwhile, Erza's still sulking in her house. _What an idiottt. Idiot! Fool! Stupid! Stupid Jellal!_

Suddenly, she heard her door being slammed open. There it was revealed Jellal, perfectly normal as ever with his prideful bishie face—

That was scratched all over, and his clothes were torn. And he was panting and was gasping for air. He was also in the need of new pants. It was covered in thorns…

"J-Jellal? Whaaattt theee fuuccckkkk?"

"Oh fuck, Erza… give me-" he took a deep breath and his knees buckled before he fell. "Give me water. Aghhh I'm thirsty! Who the heck would have thought a 5km speed walking could turn into 5km of running in hell?"

"What do you mean?"

"I got chased— chased by the dogs. WHERE THE HELL DID THE DOGS COME FROM?"

Jellal panted again as Erza passed a tin of coke to him and he drank it all in one gulp. "Ah, I feel perfectly fine."

"…"

"Yep. Perfectly fine. Except for… uh… I'm kinda… dizzy-"

He fell again. "Too much coke… not good for my health… you've known this before, Erza. Damn you." He grumbled.

Erza chuckled lightly. "You really are a jerk, Jellal."

She could hear him sigh and getting back up, face as depressed as ever. "I know it's all my fault. I can't believe I didn't realize what I did wrong until I met up with Lucy Heart-something and got chased by ducks_ and_ dogs and I could've sworn I saw some chickens. And then I decided to—"

Inhale.

Exhale.

"—to hide in the bushes. but then it turns out Lady Luck isn't in my side at that moment and it turned out to be a rose garden. And for some reason I jumped in the pond. I think that's why ducks chased after me."

"…Jellal. You can stop talking now. Go on and take a bath. You look exhausted."

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"…You haven't forgiven me yet." Jellal looked at his feet, twiddling with his fingers again. He knew that he looked super-adorable-and-cute-also-sexy-and-hot in that kind of pose, and it worked with everyone; Lucy, Mirajane, Cana, heck, even Gray and Natsu.

He immediately regretted it when Erza pulled him closer, in her breasts…

…which was covered with her armor.

Shhhhhittttttttt.

"Er- zaghhh… n-no~ ehehe, stop tickling me~~! Ahaha, eyshhh~~! OKAY SERIOUSLY STOP TICKLING ME, DAMMIT."

"There's your answer, Jellal."

"My answer… tickles?"

"Pickles?"

"No, tickles."

"No. I forgive you. Now go and take a shower."

"…Meh, thanks Erza. I really lov— lik— c-care… about you."

"You're welcome."

"Oh, and by the way."

"Hn?"

"I think I need to sleep with you tonight."

…What.

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><p><strong>I need a break this week. ._. Okay so I purposely made Jellal random in every chapter. LOL I like him that way.<strong>


	6. Remember Me

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail**

**Note: This chapter will be divided into two. This is part one.**

* * *

><p>While Jellal was rubbing his hair with shampoo—<em>strawberry<em> shampoo… he could see Erza's figure next to the door. Whistling, he smirked. "Oh~ if it isn't Erza Scarlet~, what are you doing here?"

Much to his surprise, the figure didn't answer. All of a sudden Jellal blushed when he realized Erza was naked. She looked awfully exposed. "Y-you've… you've really changed over these past few years." He chuckled nervously, looking down on the tiles. He heard no more than water splashing all over.

"E-Erza…?"

Still no answer… and Jellal was surely getting damn frustrated. "Oi, are you dead or something? Answer me, geez! Or just leave. I can't get out if you're here."

He could hear a satisfied chuckle, and soon after, Erza slammed the bathroom door open, fully clothed with her white blouse, and facing Jellal, who was naked.

"Wha—what are you doing? Get out!" he screamed like a girl, face flushed. "This is revenge, Jellal." Erza smirked, leaving the room casually.

"What revenge? I did nothing to you!" Jellal accused, his hand searching for a towel. "Where's my towel?"

"If you mean by your towel, which means _my_ towel, which means I had it washed."

"Erza… how could you do this to me? Damn it!"

"I told you, this is revenge for yesterday."

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><p><em>Flashback,<em>

"I think I need to sleep with you tonight."

"What kind of bullshit?"

"You really wanna know? I accidentally used my magic when I was asleep, and it was just my luck that I destroyed the mattress I was sleeping on."

"…I don't know what to say."

"Yep, you don't, except for that you actually said something. Anyway, yeah, your room tonight; it's not like I'm gonna destroy anything else, right?"

As if he was doing it on purpose, he lifted his hand up, and the vase in front of him split into two. "…Except for that vase. I'll pay for it later." He sweat dropped, somehow managing to sound innocent.

"Damn right you will." Erza sighed, thinking about it a little. Having them sleep together sounded terrible.

"I know what you're thinking. I'll ruin your beauty sleep, right? It's okay. I'll just sleep outside or something cliché like that. But I'll still need some magazines to keep me… you know, entertained." He said, face depressed, looking down on the carpet with his usual puppy eyes.

Sighing for what it seems to be the millionth time, Erza chuckled. "Okay… Looks like I've got no choice anyways."

The male looked up, smirking slightly before giving her a friendly hug. "I knew it. You're the same Erza Scarlet, alright. Just like old times, hmm?"

"Yep." Erza returned his hug, smiling like the angel she is. "Just like old times." She muttered, before standing up and giving a hand to Jellal in which he gladly accepted.

A few hours later, Erza's jaw dropped when she walked inside her room. She just came back from her S-class mission, and god, it was tiring. She planned to drop herself on the bed, but when she opened it—

"What are you…?"

"Welcome back, Erza." Jellal smiled as if it's the normal thing to say. Well technically, it's kinda normal. But not when you're on a woman's bed, naked with only shorts on, reading some porn, and also taking space of half the bed.

"Don't 'welcome back' me, Jellal… Are you planning on making me sleep on the floor or something?"

"Oh, did you read my mind?"

"Move over, idiot."

"What, so you're actually looking forward to sleeping with me?" Jellal smirked, running his hand over his thigh.

"…Are you sure you're not gay, Jellal?"

"I don't even know myself." He chuckled, before rolling over. "Just saying by the way, I won't be wearing any clothes since tonight's pretty hot."

"You've been hanging out with Gray too much."

"He's pretty cool. I mean, wow, I didn't even realize that running was lame. Speed walking is the new trend, Erza. Speed walk, like a boss."

"…"

"Ah, I'll take the left side by the way."

"…"

"You can take the right. Maybe I can hug you like a teddy bear. You've grown into quite the beautiful woman, Erza."

"…"

"And, well, you have so little pillows. How can you live like this? You have, like, 4 pillows. Back in the council I had like 20, okay, maybe more than that since I'm like a boss. Anyway the conclusion is, I'm awesome." He said proudly, his thumb pointing to himself.

"You're annoying."

"D'aww, that's so mean, Erza~" he pouted sarcastically.

"That's it. I'm off to bed." Erza sighed before jumping on to bed, briefly missing Jellal.

"Y-you're… you're really planning to sleep w-with me?" he blushed, sweating furiously at the thought.

"Do you have a problem with that, Jellal?" Erza sighed again, eyes closed.

"Of course there's a problem! W-we… we're grownups, right?"

"We slept together 8 years ago, why not now?"

"That's 8 years ago! T-that…"

"8 years ago and now is still the same."

Jellal was about to say something when he froze suddenly, frowning; his blush disappearing. "You're making me sleep outside, are you?"

Erza chuckled. "There's no way we're going to sleep on the same bed. And as a gentleman, you, Jellal Fernandes; will sleep outside~"

"…Damn it." He twitched.

"With all my respect, Jellal, please, _get the fuck out of my room_."

"Erza… you're seriously doing this to me? I don't want to sleep outside! What if—what if there're bugs out there? WHAT IF THEY EAT ME? WHAT'LL HAPPEN TO MY FACE?"

"I'll slice you up into three if you keep talking."

He twitched again. "DAMN IT, ERZA. WE'RE FRIENDS, RIGHT? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?"

"Shut up! I'm sleeping, just shut up and deal with it!"

Surprisingly, Jellal decided to sleep on the same bed with Erza. Although slightly (very) embarrassed, he dealt with it. For Erza, she just blushed throughout the night.

…There was absolutely no surprise that there was a long pillow between them, acting like a divider. And exactly like kids; they set up their own rules. Saying how they shouldn't cross that pillow and so on.

"And lastly, Erza! Do not, in any way, touch my magaz—" he froze, blinking before chuckling and bursting out in laughter.

"What?"

"Erza, doesn't this reminds you when we were kids?"

She thought about it and suddenly grinned, chuckling lightly. "Yeah… yeah, it does."

Jellal grinned before he patted Erza's head, "Scarlet… I thought it was way not cool when I named you Erza Scarlet. I mean, when you get old, people won't see your beautiful scarlet hair anymore." He sighed.

"You think it was not cool? I liked it."

"You _liked_ it, and you said liked instead of like. Meaning you dislike it now."

"You're really depressing, Jellal. I like it, I liked it, I love it, I loved it… I still like my name."

"If I was just a little bit older, I would probably name you Erza Fernandes." He muttered slowly, low enough so that she couldn't hear.

"What?"

"N-no… nothing, Erza, let's go back to sleep."

"Sure." She smiled before pulling the sheets, clearly drifting off to sleep when—

"Erza…?"

She was simply too tired to answer, so she decided to ignore him. Poor Jellal.

As for Jellal, he just thought Erza was already asleep and he took a deep breath. "Erza… you've become a very beautiful woman indeed. I still think you're cute, but now, you're probably the most beautiful woman I've ever met. Hell, I don't think anyone could be as gorgeous as you."

She blushed a bit after she heard him say that. "But on second thought… I guess I shouldn't say anything. It'd probably be just a joke anyways if I complimented her like that." He sighed.

Erza chuckled as she heard him toss around, facing the wall. "Stupid Jellal…" she muttered, closing her eyes.

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><p><strong>-READ-<strong>

**We're so sorry for not updating. There's been a problem; Tiffany Sins had been in a car accident and died. Her funeral was only yesterday. Read my profile for more information.**

* * *

><p><strong>So, how was it? Good or bad? This chapter is dedicated to Rachel Sins; Tiffany's sister. It should be hard for you to move on, Rach. I'll be here for you.<strong>

**Forever attached to our heart;**

**..Rest in Peace; 21st January 2012,**

_**Tiffany Sins.**_


	7. This Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail, if I did, I'd make rape Jellal LOL.**

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><p>Erza's foot tapped the floor angrily, her eyes glaring at Jellal. The bluenette couldn't do anything but chuckle nervously and mutter "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please just don't kill me, Erza."<p>

"Shut up."

"Yes, captain…"

"Do you know why I am angry at you?"

"Frankly I don't."

"Stop bullshitting. You actually destroyed my bed."

"I'm sorry."

"No, just shush. Go buy breakfast or something."

"I told you my magic is currently fucked up," he whined before leaping a few steps forward, face depressed.

All of a sudden Erza felt guilty. She turned back to apologize, but the door shut with a light click.

"He's stupid," she sighed. "…but caring and sweet."

Right outside her room, Jellal laughed an inaudible chuckle, his hand cupping an ear. "I'm stupid? Did she say I'm stupid? Bishies aren't stupid. I'm a bishie, so I'm not stupid," he muttered once he heard Erza's comment.

"Jellal Fernandes, go to hell and buy breakfast this instant." Jellal froze once he heard Erza's very unfeminine growl. He seriously thought it was a lion—not a lioness, even. "Shit. I'm dead, I'm dead, fuck it. Help me~~" he whispered, taking light footsteps away from the room.

Erza sighed, staring at her bed. She didn't know what to do, either compliment Jellal for his strong half-awake magic that burnt her bed completely, or kill him for actually destroying her precious bed.

"I'll praise him first, and then I'll kill him." She decided.

Meanwhile, Jellal was supposedly skipping like a goddamn little girl, with a box of strawberry cake in his hand. "What am I doing, I should do something to make Erza feel good."

And then it hit him.

"No. Not that kind of treatment, geez, I've really changed. This is all because of Ultear, damn it that bitch, how'd she change me like this? I was never like this, I'm a bishie. A gentle, pure-hearted, lovable bishie." He muttered, ignoring the stares that completely screamed, 'dude-what-the-fuck-are-you-sure-you're-not-gay-oh-I'm-so-going-to-post-this-on-my-blog'.

"I should buy her a bed. A bigger bed, maybe a purple bed…? Oh, good idea, blue plus red equals purple. When did I become so smart?"

"What are you doing here?"

Jellal snapped out of his self-acclaimed thoughts, and stared at the source of voice.

"Oh. Gray. Gray Fullbuster," he greeted in monotone, a hand waving.

"Don't say my name like that, it's not cool."

"Did I become smart because of you? You're my hero? This is so cool I can't believe its happening."

"What?"

"No. Nothing,"

"Anyways, mind answering my question?"

"Err… I-I was just looking for a present."

"Heh, let me guess. Is it a girl?"

"Dude, how can you ask 'is it a girl' like that? It kinda sounds like I'm pregnant."

"Bingo. It's definitely Erza."

Jellal banged his head on a table. Gray stared as it crumbled to pieces. "How'd you know?" he groaned.

"When you're avoiding a question, it's Erza."

"Yeah, it's her. So what if it's her? It's not like I like her or something."

"Yep, you like her."

"I don't."

"Stop denying it."

"I'm not!"

"If Happy was here, he'd go 'he lllllikes her' already."

"I don't like her, geez."

"Sure you don't."

"I really don't—"

"Yeah, you don't. Anyways, what's the problem this time? Did you peek at her in the bathroom? Accidentally kissed her? Said something sensitive towards her? Made her mad?"

"Option one, no. Option two, no. Option three, just once. Option four, it happens all the time."

"Well then? I'm outta options."

"I destroyed her bed."

"Oh, then just buy something to make up with her ag—"

Gray stared at Jellal. Jellal did the same. They both smiled awkwardly and stayed like that for a while.

…_Awkward._

"You slept… with Erza?" Gray questioned.

"T-that… is not 100% true."

"Oh, you're really a pimp, dude. You have Ultear and Erza… I often see Mira blush when she's with you. You're in Lucy's 'top boyfriend list'—"

"I know I'm in Lucy's magazine, I read it before."

"And you actually exchange magazines!"

"Not really 'exchange', more like 'snatch'."

"Pfft, really, you suck at girl stuffs."

"I didn't sleep with her! I just slept _next_ to her."

"The fact that you're horrible at trying to deny it makes it even funnier."

Jellal sighed, mentally raising a white flag in his head.

"Alright, I slept with her; it's just one night anyways. Not like it's a big deal." He huffed, "So, what can I do to make her not mad at me?"

To this, Gray smirked. "You wanna know, really?"

Jellal nodded.

"Jewelries always work," he muttered. "Maybe a golden bracelet, even a ring,"

"…A ring? Do you want me to propose to that devil or something?"

"Sure."

"Ah, definitely no, maybe… maybe silver earrings with amethyst— nah, that might not suit Erza. Something flashy, maybe something that'd bring out her eyes a bit? Wait what the fuck Gray where are you going?"

"You've gotta handle it all by yourself, bud." He waved a hand coolly, making Jellal laugh.

After a few minutes, he finally got it. He could imagine Erza wearing _that_ jewelry, with _that_ gem, and with Jellal… never mind, he never really got that far within his imagination.

"A silver necklace—and it's either amethyst or ruby… or spinel, perhaps?"

Finally reaching a store, he reached for the doorknob, and almost fainted.

"Sweet Jesus, I'm not sure if this is a candy store or a fucking jewelry store."

He described every detail perfectly, and got the one he wanted. "Oh, this stuff is simple~"

"That'll be 3 million jewels."

Jellal looked up. "I-I beg your pardon?"

"3 million jewels,"

"…I think I heard 3 million jewels, instead of 30 jewels?"

"You didn't mishear anything. 3 million jewels,"

He sighed. It's either 3 million jewels spent for a stupid necklace, or his Erza's cute, pure smile.

"Alright," he inhaled some fresh air, face now completely serious. "3 million jewels it is."

He didn't know why he didn't regret his decision at all. He quickly ran for his Erza at his house, and slammed the door open. "Erza! Where are you?"

…Cricket, cricket.

"Erza?"

Nope, just silence.

"Errr- zaaahhh?"

God damn it.

He could hear a soft, gentle whimper, and he was getting worried. Did his Erza get hurt? "Erza, are you—"

Cue gasp from Jellal Fernandes, she looked gorgeous while sleeping. And he didn't even notice it.

He also didn't notice raw crimson liquid rapidly flowing out of his nostrils. And he didn't notice he looked like a pervert.

"U-uh, Erza, I think… you—I think you need to wear something that's not revealing—"

_Thud,_

He passed out.

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><p><strong>Ah, I didn't feel like doing something funny, I really tried my best to put a Jerza romance scene, but LOL it's not working, ffs brb crying.<strong>

**R&R? 8D**


	8. Marry You

**And, time for some (epic fail) fluffy JerZa scene! So sorry if this wasn't funny, I just needed something really romantic since Jellal clearly came off as a jerk in the past few chapters lmao.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail**

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><p>"Erza, please marry me," Jellal confessed in the beautiful scarlet evening, looking up from his kneeling position while holding a ring in his hand.<p>

He blinked, and screamed like a girl for 2 seconds, "This is gross! Why'd I propose to Erza? That is the worst nightmare anyone could ever have, omgomgomgomg."

Just then, he could hear a loud rustling noise. "E-Erza…?" he started, somehow dazing back at what happened last night. Erza looked quite exposed; he didn't like it much though.

"What?" an unfeminine voice growled and Jellal winced. "That's right, I bought something for you last night…"

"Something for me, you said?"

"Are you deaf?"

"Continue or just shut up."

"Ahem, Erza… would you marry me?"

Jellal blinked again. What the fuck? Was he the first person to have another dream while he's dreaming? "I must be going nuts. Once again, Ultear's fault,"

"Jellal, breakfast's ready!" a voice called him and Jellal shivered, "Oh shit, what do I do, omgomgomg should I give the necklace to her? Should I? Should I not?"

He opened the drawer and took out the necklace. Hmm, for some reason the necklace looks like a ring.

"…"

No shit it looks like a ring.

Jellal trembled, "Gray Fullbuster…" he growled silently, holding the frozen ring. "I'll kill you."

(Somewhere in Fairy Tail guild, Gray sneezed)

"I'll be there soon, Erza," he replied a little too late, clutching the ring as tight as he could, "Boy problem! Oh, wait, was it supposed to be girl problem?"

He took a deep breath before thinking, "Should I wear a tuxedo? I need to buy one first, though, wait aren't I supposed to give this to her now?"

The blunette sighed again, "Ah, what am I doing, I'm taking this too seriously. Stress, stress! I need to read some magazines, yeah, some magazines might help me."

He blinked. "Ultear can help me, right?" he said out loud and dialed Ultear's number with some random cell phone that he somehow got a few seconds ago.

"Ahem, what should I say…? 'Ultear, I need help, the girl I want to give a present to is a beast yet I somehow like her, so I'm giving this present to her…' no, too complicated, 'Ultear, I need to give something to Erza, you know Erza, right?' wait, what if she doesn't know Erza?"

He sighed.

"…Maybe I should just give up, it's not like she likes me or something, right? We're just friends."

Jellal dropped himself on Erza's bed, playing with the ring. "Do I like Erza…?" he questioned himself and blushed, "I don't like her. Even if I did, I can't confess, I'd die if I do. Erza might kill me, that monster."

"Life's so complicated," he came to a conclusion and cursed himself, "Maybe I really like Erza… should I speak up? Well, Natsu and Lucy are too obvious even a newborn knows they're gonna be together, Juvia and Gray is kinda cute, Gajeel and Levy are also obvious… So all that's left is,"

He gasped, "Me… me and Erza?"

The blunette chuckled, "Am I dreaming again?"

"What are you muttering?" a voice interrupted him and Jellal froze. "Erza-san, what are you doing here? Not going downstairs to eat?"

She shook her head slowly, "You look like you have a problem anyhow, is there something troubling you?"

He gulped for a second and hid the ring behind his back, "I guess… if you have some time?"

She nodded. Jellal clutched his eyes shut. Now what was the right thing to say? 'Marry me'? 'Happy birthday'…?

"A—present…" he muttered, his heart beating like crazy.

"Pardon me?"

"It was my fault yesterday, your mattress. So—so I bought something for you… is that cool?"

She chuckled a bit before nodding happily. Jellal gulped.

"But I think I swapped it with something else,"

"It's okay."

"So, Erza,"

"…What?"

"Would you marry me?"

…

Everything froze.

This wasn't a dream.

Jellal knew.

His eyes clearly showed that he was completely aware of the situation he dragged himself into.

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><p><strong>I wrote about 5 JerZa fics that were dramatic, and I deleted every one of them since I hated it. Dunno what's wrong with me, oh and I changed all the titles to the songs that I like. Some are Korean, some are English. R&amp;R? 8D Don't worry guys, this won't end any soon.<strong>

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><p><strong>EDIT: HOW DA FK?<strong>

**last night = 29 reviews.**

**nao = 36.**

**AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF ONE PERSON.**

**Thank youuu, Kim/Rachel. (was the person who reviewed Kim or Rachel? you forgot to put your name down LOLOL).**


	9. Maybe, Possibly

**Disclaimer: I don't own FT. If I did I would make the new chapter come faster. I've waited for like 5 hours straight now lmao.**

* * *

><p>"What?" came a blunt reply from the redhead.<p>

Jellal twitched. "Do you not understand? Is this a dream again? I finally grew some balls to confess and this is how it ends? With me being an idiot?"

He blushed in frustration and messed with his head, "And why the hell do I feel like people are watching me and are laughing? Shut up!"

Erza blinked. "I don't get you."

"Of course you don't. You don't understand the word 'Marry me please Erza Scarlet I think I love you but no I won't say it except that I already did oh my god I should stop now'. Arghh, what the hell am I saying? Demons! Fucking controlling my dreams, are you?"

What the hell is he saying? Author (me) also doesn't understand, author just types whatever that comes across her mind.

"I don't get it," she repeated again, blinking for the second time.

"See that frozen ring?"

She nodded.

"That's Gray's fault. Now give that back to me—ohmifkengod what the hell am I doing? Am I proposing or am I telling her that the ring is actually Gray's and this is all a misunderstanding and how I wish this is all a dream? Or am I actually _in _a dream? Ohmigod I should stop making assumptions and just—shut the fuck up Jellal Fernandes what's with the long speech?"

"…What?"

"Just go away."

"If you need—"

"Private time. No hot girls. No magazines. No Erza Scarlet."

"Fine," she scoffed before turning away.

"What am I doing?" Jellal muttered before facepalming oh so dramatically, somehow surprised how he survived the ultra-omfg-wtf-that-was-so-long-how-did-the-author-come-up-with-this sentence.

"Is this a dream again? Would I dream about waking up in a dream which is actually another dream in another dream—I'm getting confused."

He sighed, "I need to go peek on girls. Hit on Lucy, or maybe Mirajane. But then Cana's pretty hot too. No, no, Natsu might kill me if I go with Lucy… there's Elfman and Laxus or Freed in my way. Cana's too old."

"What the fuck am I doing? And what the fuck is with this author's format of writing, the readers would get confused, you little—"

Ahem, because author thought that you might get confused with Jellal Fernandes, author decided to let him shut the fuck up for a second and go on with Erza's POV.

"What's with him?" she muttered, walking around.

"Lucy might know about stuffs like these."

"…Okay seriously what's with your writing format?"

No. The last sentence never happened.

…_Or did it?_

Okay sorry let's continue Erza's pointing her sword at me and I DON'T. WANT. TO. DIE. YET.

"I've read something about men holding up a ring to a woman. I forgot what it's called though."

Erza, you damn stupid— (interrupted by buzzing sounds and supposedly blood splashing around)

"I'll ask him tomorrow. He's acting weird… not that there's any day where he _doesn't _act weird anyways."

Meanwhile, Jellal was calling Ultear. "Ultear, Ultear, Ultear omgomgomg help me please I think I'm going to die soon."

"No, technically, I might die out of embarrassment. What kind of guy confesses in front of public? I looked like a total idiot. And why do I sound like a girl right now?"

Because Author thinks that you suit sounding like a girl.

"I'll talk to Erza later. This is all a miscalculation, and this is not math, and this is all a huge, huge, HUGE misunderstanding. And I'll die tomorrow. Things are looking good, no?"

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><p><strong>Ahem, 41 reviews. What a very pleasing digit number~ and to celebrate I wrote a new FF, and that is NOT cracktastic! And I think I might delete it soon 'cuz it only has 6 reviews and I wrote like 3 chapters already!<strong>

**Okay seriously. I checked my Gmail yesterday and my new story got 10+ story alerts. and 6 reviews. COMPATIBLE, RIGHHTTT?**

**No, I'm just kidding. I'm not forcing you guys to check out my stories 'cuz I know I suck bro.**

**R&R?**


	10. Forever and Always

**Disclaimer: Disease called Love, namely Bella Cherry does not own Fairy Tail. Seriously though if I did I'd make a Jellal vs Erza.**

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><p>For the first time, Jellal was scared.<p>

Not scared of a beast, not scared of Erza—maybe just once or twice.

But never, ever was he scared of Ultear.

"Look, so what, I made a mistake."

Ultear nodded, still oh-so-pissed off.

"When did you get here?"

"Bus."

"No, didn't the council lock you up?"

"What's wrong with me busting out?"

"And why did you _not _bust _me _out?"

"I thought you simply needed a lesson."

"And just who the fuck possessed me a few months ago?"

"Me."

"Good. Now tell me why you're here and blocking me while I was going to Lucy's house to borrow some freaking magazines."

"Don't think I haven't observed you before."

"Stalker alert. You've changed, Ultear."

"You haven't. But then, which idiot changes over a few hundred years?"

"Jellal Fernandes, GODLIKE! Or so warcraft says. Did you play that game? So epic. It goes like—"

"FYI, I only play FIFA 10."

"FYI? Oh my god… I found my new inspiration. Please take me as your student—"

"Stop kidding. Stop avoiding. Sit down."

"Yes sir," he pouted before doing what was told. Sweet Jesus, aren't women scary? In Jellal's dictionary, nothing, _absolutely nothing _beats a woman. Horrific-wise, that is. Appearance-wise?

Fucking magazines.

**GODLIKE.**

"Ahem. So, reason?"

Ultear smiled a very creepy grin, one that Jellal swore he saw it haunting him in every dream. And he dreams about Erza being the cover of a magazine.

He shook his head. "No. Mustn't. Think. About. Erza." He hissed to himself with a slap to make it a bonus.

"I'm here because of Erza."

"Thank you, captain obvious. Now if you would please—I have an appointment with some magazines which are supposedly waiting for my gentle warm hands to touch them and flip them page by page, admiring the pictures inside it and don't I sound like a pervert?"

"Quite. She's pretty pissed off about yesterday."

"And if you would like to remind me what happened yesterday…?"

"You made her leave. Quite rudely, too. Not something that a girl adores, Jellal."

"And if you would like to tell me _why _do you know what happened yesterday…?"

"Like I said," she smiled another creepy grin and Jellal shivered. This bitch had something up to her sleeves. "Simply observing."

He nodded in understanding and pulled out the frozen ring that Gray replaced. "You know what's funny about all this?"

Ultear remained silent, Jellal continued. "The fact that this shitty ring probably costs ten jewels and I bought the real necklace for 3 million jewels. Hah, karma."

"I think she'll be happy with it."

"Or would she? No, seriously, is this my punishment for being such a bitch?"

"Author probably thinks so."

Yes. Author thinks so. Ultear agrees. Warcraft reads **GODLIKE.**

Jellal sighed. "I'm indeed very aware of my mistake yesterday."

"Not that there's a moment when you never do any mistakes,"

"Lesson number 1, I sounded like a girl. Lesson number 2; I need to apologize to Erza. Lesson number 3; I need to kill Gray Fullbuster. Lesson number 4, I still sound like a girl. Lesson number 5, I'll kill the author."

The last statement never happened because Author never typed it in the first place. In which Ultear Milkovich agrees. She's a good friend, no?

"Don't blame her. It's for your own stupidity."

"Stop making me feels worse, Ultear, and stop holding me back! The magazines are waiting for my touches. Lucy is harassing the magazines! That bitch—"

He stopped for a brief moment as he saw what's in front of him. "Erza," he whispered gently and Ultear chuckled.

"Karma," she whispered directly into Jellal's ear before dissolving into nothingness, cue epic gasp and repeats of 'please make me your student you were seriously cool' from Jellal Fernandes.

And cue Author's laughter of how dramatic this story is getting.

Erza smiled awkwardly, dropping the bags of hundreds of ice-cream cake. Jellal's eyes widened in shock of two things;

One, did Erza just drop her cake?

Two, did Erza buy ice-cream cake instead of cheesecakes?

And an additional three, why'd Erza buy like three hundred cakes?

Which, is not surprisingly at all but since Jellal's a newbie, a huge shockwave of MIND FUCKING—

"So, you plan on sharing those?" Jellal asked nervously, pointing at the bunch of cakes in Erza's hand.

The redhead frowned.

"So, did you stop being a jackass?"

"Erza—"

She ran away. Jellal sighed in frustration.

And thus lesson number 6 came across his mind.

Aren't women the most complicated creatures?

In which Jellal knew the answer of it.

A very meaningful hundreds of letters and wordings, Jellal Fernandes knew.

…_yes._

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><p><strong>Question of the day: WHY THE FUCK DID THIS TURN OUT SOMEWHAT DRAMATIC?<strong>

**Sorry for the late update. Been making 2 other stories and I update it to keep up. AND APPARENTLY EACH OF IT FAILED. SO I CAME BACK AND turned the caps off.. I think.**

**Rofl. no jokes here though, FF is getting so fucked up for me. I can't upload stuffs lmao.**


	11. Bad Boy

**Disclaimer: blahblahblah Japanese. The usual shits.**

**On a side-note, this chapter won't be as cracktastic as you think. OTL.**

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><p>"Why the fuck are you still here?" growled a certain blunette. Having a woman watch him was pretty disturbing, in Jellal's case. Twice the price when he was playing his PSP.<p>

And it tripled when Jellal had the urge to change his mall shopping game to a shooting range game before Ultear noticed. The last thing he needed was, apparently, Ultear teasing him for his girly games.

"Observing," Ultear muttered and Jellal's eyebrows twitched.

Only did he understand when he glanced over and found out she was focusing on her FIFA 10.

"…You're so out of date. Ever heard of FIFA 11 and 12? Limited edition. Am pretty sure you might like it."

Oh karma.

"Don't tell me I'm old."

"Technically I didn't."

"I'll kill you."

"Before you do promise me you _will _bury me with my magazine lined up next to me. I have my pride."

"Of which your pride is reading 10 magazines every day."

He nodded.

"You're stupid," she murmured and Jellal smiled.

"But you still love me."

"Of course I do. You're like my brother—"

At this, Jellal smirked. "If you would please continue the ever-so-obvious compliment about the ever-so-epic Jellal Fernandes, do so."

"—a very idiotic brother who deserves to die but shouldn't because he's so cute that he might get raped by Gray Fullbuster and Natsu Dragneel sooner or later. Threesome anyone?"

"I find it vaguely creepy that you actually fed me pictures about us doing _that_."

"Speaking of which, we're getting a bit out of topic here."

Jellal's heart skipped a beat. No. This was not out of topic this is perfectly fine, Jellal Fernandes just focus—_focus! Focus on the game console! Here's your chance now, shoot that thing! Wait where's the x button oh shit I missed it! Fuck it Ultear I'll kill you but wait a second I unlocked this level already. Geez, what a waste of time. I really suck at these kinds of games, do I? No, I'm a grown man!_

And he definitely did_ not _realize the fact that Ultear was staring at the screen, almost dying out of laughter of how he couldn't pass the level. She could do it in like 3 seconds and Jellal took half an hour.

And this, kids, is the difference between pro and noob.

"Yeah, I don't really feel like talking about it. Whatever you're _speaking of_, that is." Jellal muttered loud enough for his mother-resemblance to hear. She sighed.

"One day you'll have to confess to Erza, so why not just do it now?"

"What if I tell you I have no feelings for her," the blunette stated bluntly.

Ultear smiled and, almost immediately, Jellal blushed. "I-I really don't have any feelings for Erza. Maybe when we were kids, but now we're just friends—"

"I'll kill you."

"…I have feelings for Erza."

The raven simply nodded before giving her friend a quick peck on the cheek. On the other hand Jellal didn't dare to do anything since he thought that the first thing he should do was probably to change his pants at that moment.

"Just say that you love her."

"I love her as a friend."

"You don't."

"I do."

"You do?"

"I do."

"You don't?"

"I do."

"You sure you do?"

"I'm sure I don't- damn it you fucking little mind-whore stop playing word games with me."

"Erza makes a good wife material though," Ultear muttered softly.

Jellal stifled a chuckle. Was the definition of 'good wife material' a person who slices things up and turns into berserk mode when her strawberry cake gets stolen and could kill a person within half a second to Ultear?

"But you like it when she smiles and laughs with you," she murmured gently and Jellal swore he was trying so hard not to puke.

But, he had to admit it was true. He liked it when she smiled.

"Erza can sometimes be kind, right?"

She's right.

Jellal frowned.

"Erza is really pretty too. She's a unique woman."

Jellal stood up.

"If you can't grasp her _now,_ she might just slip away _later_."

"Ultear," the blunette whispered.

Said woman smirked, "So did you grow some balls already?"

"The question is, why don't _you _grow some balls? I'm pretty sure you're a dude."

"You wanna see me strip?" she smirked and Jellal merely frowned, looking away.

"Disgusting. Shut up. Confessing in a few minutes, sensation overload. I don't think I'll pull this off, Ultear," he muttered, burying his face inside his palms.

"Sure you won't."

"Thank you for giving me such high hopes, Ultear Milkovich." Jellal sobbed out sarcastically.

"Are you crying?"

"Are you fucking blind?"

"It's not good to fight a question with another question."

"You're not my mother."

"This is ridiculous. You're wasting a whole chapter to grow some balls to confess."

Jellal looked up. "But, Ultear…"

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><p>Author skips this shit because we all know my random version of Jellal <em>won't <em>grow some balls in the next hour or so.

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><p>"So?" Ultear smiled.<p>

He took a deep breath before opening his eyes, giving a determined refreshing glare. "I'll do it."

Suddenly a light _plop _was heard and both mages turned around to see a device slowly drowning inside a river.

"Holy shit," Jellal whispered. "…my PSP."

And the next 30 minutes was filled with Ultear trying to calm Jellal from destroying the town.

Erza looked at the scene from a random house whatnot. Yes, the author can very much change things of mind-fuckery. I'm a mind-whore, cue epic applause.

"Hmph," the redhead frowned. "Why is that girl getting all touchy cuddly with Jellal? Weird."

"Are you jealous?" asked an old man.

The first thing Erza wanted to ask was probably 'Who the fuck are you?' or 'Where the fuck did you come from' _or _'Why the fuck are you here'.

But it didn't matter. All 3 questions had the word 'fuck' anyways.

"I'm not," she said instead and looked at the raven and blunette again.

"He lost his game console," the old man laughed silently.

"What an idiot." Erza smiled before going downstairs.

Her Jellal was a stupid fool.

But she loved him no matter what he is.

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><p><strong>We all know I fail at fluffy JerZa scenes. Sorry for the late update and the very-well disappointing chapter OTL. But, I'm really grateful since I hit 50+ reviews, I didn't even think I'd have 30 reviews or so. Thanks, guys, I really appreciate it.<strong>


	12. Fantastic Baby

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

**Warning: Failed fluff scenes of Jellal Fernandes and Erza Scarlet.**

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><p>"Stupid Jellal," Erza called out with a smile.<p>

Said male looked up, trying to pry off Ultear's hands off him. "E-Erza… what are you doing here?" he asked, relieved that she was alright. He seriously thought she was injured or something.

He should be an idiot for that. Erza's not weak, you dumb fuck.

"In case you're blind," the redhead rolled her eyes, irritated. "I'm here to return your PSP."

The blunette's eyes gleamed in pure happiness. "Are you serious? My game console… r-really?"

She nodded.

Jellal really wanted to hug her right there right then. Just as he was about to, a pale hand grabbed the back of his collar.

"Oh, I'm sorry. This kiddo is mine, Erza," the raven said with a light smirk.

Slowly, _drastically _slowly, Jellal looked at her. "What the fuck?"

"I said," she repeated with an irritating tone, one that made Erza twitch in annoyance. "This kiddo… is _mine_."

Once again, Jellal asked. "Ultear… what are you _doing_?"

"Shut up," she glared. Whimpering, his words barely came off as a whisper. "O-okay…"

"I-I see," Erza looked away in embarrassment. "So you guys are dating?"

She nodded, pushing Jellal's head down and up by his hair, ignoring his protests of 'ouch' and 'what the hell, Ultear?'

"I'm—my bad, I guess…" she gave a sweet, intoxicating smile and Jellal looked at her with tear-filled eyes.

She was crying.

Ever since their childhood days, Jellal never saw Erza cry—at least not directly.

The blunette's eyes widened, thinking of how horrible had he been. Frowning right after, his muscles tensed and he clenched his teeth, almost breaking one of them.

"Ultear," he growled out. "Get the fuck out of here if you don't want to have the most painful, cruel, merciless death. It's a vow, _bastard_."

As if to prove his point, he casted a magic circle and watched Ultear suffer the exact replica of hell right in front of him, ignoring the horrified stares all the citizens were giving them.

"Out," he repeated again, but with a much more balanced voice.

The redhead looked up in awe. Was this _the _Jellal that was always messing around? Was this _the _Jellal Fernandes that read Vogue Magazine and stole robes from both her and Lucy?

No.

This was, the true yet false Jellal Fernandes. Erza smiled a bit, happy that he actually matured in the past few years.

The magic that the blunette was working on suddenly disappeared. "Ultear, you bastard of a fucker," Jellal growled through clenched teeth. "I knew she wasn't an ally of anyone since the beginning," he sighed and turned to Erza.

Upon seeing the worried yet grateful expression, Jellal's muscles relaxed and he smiled the most goofy, huge grin.

"Erza," he called out happily while waving. "I thought you were—"

"—hiding from you…" the redhead continued, tilting her head without realizing how very adorable she looked. "I'm sorry, Jellal."

For a moment, the male mage blushed furiously. Nervously, he looked away.

"N-nah, it's my fault anyways," he giggled, walking a few steps towards the redhead and claiming his game console back. "Thanks, Erza."

Taking a deep, long breath, Erza looked up. "J-Jellal… I think I like you."

And yet again, Jellal dropped the PSP on a huge rock, watching it collapse.

"…Shit," he said sarcastically, bending down to pick the item up.

That fucking bastard had no luck.

The PSP crumbled into pieces and Jellal simply stared in horror, many of his unsaved games that he has yet to finish popping in his head.

"NO! MY PSP!" he yelled like a girl, holding the now-destroyed console with shaky hands.

"I-I'll buy you a new one…" the long haired woman watched him in pity.

"You don't get it, Erza Scarlet," he sobbed out, pointing his index finger towards Erza. And Erza sighed; _the Jellal documentary is starting again…_

"This PSP is in fact an amazing object," he huffed proudly with a goofy smile. "You should try it sometimes, Erza."

The redhead blinked. Well, that was pretty fast. It usually lasted for _hours_… it just took… seconds?

"Plus I don't want you to misunderstand things," he blushed a bit. "I didn't forget about what you said, stupid Erza," he grinned. "Let's play together sometimes."

"Eh?" her orbs blinked for the millionth time. "A date?" she asked in a small, too-girlish voice.

Jellal patted her head playfully. "My house," he said. "A PSP-filled date."

"No magazines," she said sharply and Jellal frowned.

"That… might be impossible."

"And no Ultear or Lucy-related things," Erza glared up.

"I'll assure you that," the male mage said in a confident voice. "Erza Scarlet," he whispered, kissing her lightly by the lips.

She giggled, hovering away from him in a happy mood. "Thanks, Jelly," she laughed.

"Bye, Erza," he replied, bidding temporary farewell by waving. Suddenly, his eyes widened "Wait, what?"

Yes; that redheaded devil just called him 'Jelly'.

"…What should I call her then?"

Up from above, Ultear giggled. "Stupid Jellal," she muttered softly. "If I didn't do that you won't confess, you dumb fuck," eyebrow twitching as she heard a certain blunette's light, caring laugh in her head.

"I know," Jellal replied, smiling. "Thanks, Ultear. You're a great friend."

"Oh, and by the way," the raven's voice echoed in Jellal's head. "You should call her 'honey'."

"Bishies don't call their girlfriends _honey_, Ultear—goddamn it, you, you little typical woman, what have you been learning?"

"Whatever, stupid," Ultear sighed, ending the telepathy.

"Calling her Erza would be fine," he continued to himself. "Ah, shit," Jellal cursed to himself. "Ultear," he said, hoping the raven would hear him. "You'd make a great mother too."

After a long pause and Jellal's praying, a soft laugh was heard.

"…I was waiting for that, bastard. Thanks, _jelly_."

Yes; Ultear Milkovich was in fact pregnant.

"Oi, don't call me that. Erza might be mad."

"It's not like I care. Good luck with your date, you fucker."

"Bye, you frantic idiotic bitch."

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><p><strong>What is <em>with <em>me? I didn't update for weeks, or possibly MONTHS. Dafuq? I'm really horrible. And I tried my best to write the fluffs but it turned out UNFLUFFY AND UNCRACKY. I'M FLAILING. I'M FAILING AND I'M FLAILING GUISE.**

**I won't be pissed if you guise don't review. This chapter really sucked ._.**


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